The Five Love Languages

think-you-dont-like-romance-novels-ftrI can’t remember how many years ago I heard about The Five Love Languages, but I don’t think I had all of my children yet, so that’s at least 20 years. The knowledge from this book makes relationships make more sense. Everyone has a primary “love language” and when that area of need is being met, they feel more loved. Even if you feel like you are always telling the other person how much you love them and how great they are, if Words of Affirmation isn’t their love language, they’re not feeling it. The five languages are: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time and Receiving Gifts.

Love-LanguagesHere’s a basic definition of each:

Acts of Service– the ideal expression of love for this person is “What can I do for you?” Your loved one helping you with tasks you don’t like or when you’re stressed- that’s the ideal. Always leaving you with the housework is a big deal to this person.

Words of Affirmation- for this person, actions don’t speak louder than words. Telling you how they feel about you is the ultimate expression of love. Never complimenting this person about anything will make love grow colder.

Physical Touch- touching your loved one makes you feel loved the most. This doesn’t necessarily mean sex, but needing to hold hands or sit close on the couch. Lots of women think this must be their husband’s love language, but that’s not necessarily true.

Quality Time– just spending time together makes you feel loved more than fancy words or helping around the house. Full, undivided attention (no smart phones, tvs, even food) is what makes this work. Postponing plans or distractions bug this person and make them feel unloved.

Receiving Gifts– for this person, receiving a gift means more than any other expression of love. It isn’t necessarily a materialistic need, but more that the thought and effort that was put into getting the gift. Missing a birthday is a huge deal to this person.

Knowing my propensity for all kinds of personality tests, you won’t be surprised that I took this test years ago, and I’ve taken it multiple times since then. I always get the same answer, so I think it’s pretty accurate. How do you know which love language you are? You can take this free quiz:

Answer the question about if you’re in a relationship or single, and the test will start.

And, if you can, have your loved ones take the test, too. Even children have love languages and knowing your child’s will make it easier to help them feel loved.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, knowing which love language your spouse is could help you give the best Valentine.

IMG_8898If you’re wondering, my love language is Receiving Gifts and my husband’s is Acts of Service. (our last place languages are almost mirrors of each other’s number one) That means we are very different. Knowing our love languages makes it easier to make the other feel loved.

What’s your love language? Do you think it’s accurate?



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